We’re young. We’re supposed to drink too much. We’re supposed to have bad attitudes and shag each other’s brains out. We are designed to party. This is it. Yeah, so a few of us will overdose or go mental. But Charles Darwin said you can’t make an omelet without breaking a few eggs. And that’s what it’s all about – breaking eggs! And by eggs, I do mean, getting twatted on a cocktail of Class A’s. If you could just see yourselves! It breaks my heart. You’re wearing cardigans! We had it all. We fucked up bigger and better than any generation that came before us. We were so beautiful! We’re screw-ups. I’m a screw-up and I plan to be a screw-up until my late 20s, maybe even my early 30s. And I will shag my own mother before I let her… or anyone else, take that away from me!
What if that “virtue bitch” shows up? She is vexing them with some kind of Derren Brown voodoo mind shit. We need to gear up.
Him and his mum can come live with me at the Community Centre! I can get free food from the vending machines and I’ll steal booze from the kitchen. I’ll steal from other babies! I’ll go to the park and forage for nuts and berries!
So the probation worker is driving around with the stiffs in the boot of her car. Just thought you’d want to know. Anyway, call me!
Look, we’re a bunch of young offenders and not one of us knows how to steal a car? That is pathetic.