Manny: Do you think I should wash my beard?
Black Books
Bernard: I think you should wash it, yeah. Then shave it off, nail it to a frisbee, and fling it over a rainbow.
Hey! When all this has blown over, let’s go and see Les Miserables. Have you been to the zoo? It’s brilliant!
Manny, Black Books
Manny: “Pet Surprise”? What’s that?
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Bernard: Oh you know the thing, they take the dog out for a walk, it thinks it’s a normal walk, but when they come back, the kennel has a patio and french doors.
Manny: Yeah, yeah, and they take the blindfold off…
Bernard: Yeah and he’s like “Oh my god”, you know.
Bernard! Look! I’m a prostitute robot from the future!
Manny, Black Books
Ah but by the same token, the more expensive the wine, then the gooder it is also.
Manny, Black Books
But expensive wine is good wine also.
Manny, Black Books
Yes, the way he’s captured the look, the cow’s looking over there, we can’t see what the cow’s seeing, yeah maybe the artist’s saying cows know something we… we don’t.
Manny, Black Books
You’re a filth wizard. Friend only to the pig and the rat.
Manny, Black Books
You there. Lord of the Rings. Let’s talk about how this whole one-day trial thing is going. At the moment, you’re fired.
Bernard, Black Books
Add a dab of lavender to milk. Leave town with an orange, and pretend you’re laughing at it.
Manny, Black Books