This is the scientific breakthrough of the afternoon!

Moss, The IT Crowd

I know that the place looks like a bit of a mess but its actually a very delicate ecosystem.

Roy,The IT Crowd

Ooh! Fore! I mean Five! I mean Fire!

Moss, The IT Crowd

Didn’t know what a stress machine as this morning, and now we have two of them.

Roy, The IT Crowd

Even if that were true, it’s just not in their nature to learn how to use a ladder! They have wings! When a moth thinks about travelling vertically upwards, a ladder is just the last thing they would think of! Moss, I don’t like to be negative about it, but everything you invent is worthless!

Roy, The IT Crowd

You’re right. I’ll be a man. I’m a man… Please don’t shut the door.

Moss, The IT Crowd

Jen, can I call you back? I’ve just got Jen on the other line.

Moss, The IT Crowd

It turns out he didn’t want to teach me how to cook. He wanted to cook me.

Moss, The IT Crowd

Keep the conversation about things that would interest everybody. You know, nothing about memory or RAM.

Jen,The IT Crowd

Hey you know when you’re doing your usual threesome thing you do of a weekend, and the moonlight’s bouncing of your heads and your arses and everything, does that not get a bit confusing?

Bernard, Black Books