The sandwich he made was bologna and cheese, his favorite. All the sandwiches he made were his favorites; that was one of the advantages of being single.

Stephen King, Salem’s Lot

What you just said. It’s from Spider-Man. You’re dumping me with a line from Spider-Man?

Sam, Misfits

Rita will be devastated if I’m arrested. Her husband was a crack-head and her boyfriend’s a serial killer. It’s kinda hard not to take that personally.

Dexter Morgan, Dexter

I can kill a man, dismember his body, and be home in time for Letterman. But knowing what to say when my girlfriend’s feeling insecure… I’m totally lost.


Friend?! When I first came to London, he, he put me up, he lent me money, he helped me find a job, he helped me find this place. I was, I was an incredibly good friend to him. And, even though, even though I fancied his girlfriend, I did not make a pass at her. Well, once. Twice. A few times. But not after I realised just how angry it made him. Well, once, but only because…

Bernard, Black Books

Hello! I’ve come to serenade you. I can’t play guitar. I can’t play this either, but I thought it’d be less obvious.

Bernard, Black Books

I’ve got to get a girlfriend, just for the summer, until this wears off. She’ll be a summery girl. She’ll have hair. She’ll have summery friends who know how to be outside. She’ll play tennis and wear dresses and have bare feet, and in the autumn, I’ll ditch her, because she’s my summer girl!

Bernard, Black Books

I need an easy friend, I do, with an ear to lend.

Kurt Cobain, Nirvana

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