dylan moran

Bernard! Look! I’m a prostitute robot from the future!

Manny, Black Books

But the older the wine is, the gooder it is.

Bernard, Black Books

Old wine is good wine.

Bernard, Black Books

I don’t trust him! He has no nasal hair!

Bernard, Black Books

You’re a filth wizard. Friend only to the pig and the rat.

Manny, Black Books

You there. Lord of the Rings. Let’s talk about how this whole one-day trial thing is going. At the moment, you’re fired.

Bernard, Black Books

You’re supposed to stick to the floor over there. I like it like that. Stops children running around.

Bernard, Black Books

Half-ten?! Half-ten?! I’ve never been up at half-ten! What happens?

Bernard, Black Books

Hey you know when you’re doing your usual threesome thing you do of a weekend, and the moonlight’s bouncing of your heads and your arses and everything, does that not get a bit confusing?

Bernard, Black Books

Which one of you bitches wants to dance?

Bernard, Black Books

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