I was a normal child. Which is to say, I was selfish and I was not entirely convinced of the existence of things that were not me, and I was certain, rock-solid, unshakeably certain, that I was the most important thing in creation. There was nothing that was more important to me than I was.

Neil Gaiman, The Ocean at the End of the Lane

That’s how children deal with terror, they fall asleep.

Khaled Hosseini, The Kite Runner

Pity was not love, Barbie reflected… but if you were a child, giving clothes to someone who was naked had to be a step in the right direction.

Stephen King, Under The Dome

O, to be sure, we laugh less and play less and wear uncomfortable disguises like adults, but beneath the costume is the child we always are, whose needs are simple, whose daily life is still best described by fairy tales.

Leo Rosten

The downside to being an only child? You know all the scary handmade ornaments are yours.

Veronica Mars

A man’s gotta be pretty committed to a woman to agree to raise another man’s child.

Keith Mars, Veronica Mars

The typical number of young in the litter is usually equal to half the number nipples on the animal. The number of nipples being the maximum litter size. Humans, for example, one child is the typical. Maximum, twins. Barring extraordinary cases when the young exceed the number of nipples.

Walter Bishop, Fringe

Try explaining Hitler to a kid.

George Carlin

The bicycle is a former child’s toy that has now been elevated to icon status because, presumably, it can move the human form from pillar to post without damage to the environment.

Brock Yates

People assume that you lead a socialite life like Paris Hilton, but when I was 15, I was at home, getting stoned and playing music with my friends. I was a dork. I think people assume I was driving around in a Ferrari.

Albert Hammond Jr.

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