Manny: Do you think I should wash my beard?
Bernard: I think you should wash it, yeah. Then shave it off, nail it to a frisbee, and fling it over a rainbow.

Black Books

You know what you are? You’re a beard with an idiot hanging off it.

Bernard, Black Books

If you mean you think it is my job to go into the secret passage first, O Thorin Thrain’s son Oakenshield, may your beard grow ever longer, say so at once and have done!

Bilbo Baggins, The Hobbit

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